Have you ever put a dollar in a pop machine, pressed the button, and—nothing happened? No pop, no refund, just silence. What do you do next? Chances are, you don’t just walk away. You press the button again. Maybe you hit it a little harder. Maybe you even shake the machine, muttering in frustration.
Or think about an elevator. You press the button, but the doors don’t open right away. What do you do? You press it again. And again. Maybe even harder, as if that will make the elevator come faster. Spoiler alert—it won’t.
Have you ever had a tried-and-true demo suddenly fail in front of a key client? You keep clicking, resetting, or restarting, expecting it to work, but it just won’t.
These reactions are what psychologists call an extinction burst—a temporary spike in behavior when a previously reinforced action no longer works. The idea is simple: When we stop getting what we expect, we instinctively double down before we give up.
Why Do Extinction Bursts Happen?
Extinction bursts are a natural response to change. We see them all the time:
- A child denied screen time until homework is finished throws a tantrum, hoping the extra drama will get them what they want.
- A toddler who used to get picked up when they cried escalates to a full meltdown when that no longer works.
- A rat trained to press a lever for food will press it faster and harder when the food stops coming.
These reactions happen because the brain expects a certain outcome. When that outcome disappears, it tries harder—before eventually learning that the behavior no longer works.
Your Attitude Works the Same Way
Now, think about your own attitude. When things don’t go your way, how do you react? Do you get frustrated? Do you push harder, trying to force a situation back to how it used to be? Or do you recognize the moment for what it is—an opportunity to adapt and move forward?
A negative attitude can follow the same pattern as an extinction burst. When your client throws a curveball—a challenging technical question you weren’t expecting, a demo malfunction, or objections you didn’t anticipate — you might react with frustration, resistance, or even anger. You might dig in your heels, trying harder to make things work the old way.
But just like the pop machine or the elevator, some things won’t change no matter how hard you push. The key is knowing when to step back, rethink, and find a new approach.
How to Overcome the Attitude Extinction Burst
- Recognize the pattern – When frustration kicks in, ask yourself: “Am I stuck in an extinction burst?”
- Pause before reacting – Instead of pushing harder, take a moment to evaluate the situation. Instead of rushing to redo the same sales demo or pitch, briefly step back and reassess the prospect’s needs.
- Adjust and adapt – If something isn’t working, what’s the next best step? Where can you shift your focus? What alternative demo or approach can you pivot to immediately that might resonate better with your audience?
- Choose a better response – The sooner you accept change, the faster you’ll move forward.
Final Thought
As sales engineers, your role isn’t just problem-solving; it’s demonstrating flexibility and resilience when things don’t go according to plan. An extinction burst isn’t a sign of failure, it’s a sign that you’re on the verge of growth. The question is, will you keep slamming the button, hoping things go back to how they were? Or will you step back, check your attitude, and find a better way forward?
That choice is yours.
About the Author: Matt Booth is an award-winning speaker, author, and coach who helps individuals and organizations Check Their Attitude, Figure It Out, and Do Something. With a dynamic blend of humor, real-world experience, and actionable strategies, Matt inspires lifelong learners to improve communication, set and achieve goals, and take meaningful action. His engaging keynotes and workshops challenge audiences to stop making excuses and start making progress. Learn more at www.mattbooth.com